me to a white person:what's your ethnicity
white person:i'm 1/4 vanilla bean, 2 cups of skim milk, 3 tablespoons of tapioca, 1 teaspoon of corn starch etc
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64468
Posted
1 day ago

keepmeiny0urskin:

*hears someone mention one of my interests in public*

(via mcgowaniac)

Notes
83
Posted
1 day ago
15-year-old me:MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now:for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
Notes
109123
Posted
1 day ago

Me n Drake chillin at my house

Drake:This bubble tea is excellent! But I have to use your bathroom, that extra hot crispy chicken got to me! Haha!
Me:First door on the left, can't miss it.
Drake:
Me:
Drake:*Shouting from down the hall* The left side!?
Me:Yes.
Drake:OH. MY. GOD.
Me:*Running over to see what happened* What happened!?
Drake:My dude you got 2-ply toilet paper! When I started from the bottom with nothing but my pen and paper I used to dread using the toilet because we always had 1-ply and it would feel so bad and grainy against my sensitive skin. The paper would sometimes tear and rip and my hand would always be exposed, I hated it! When I finally made it on the charts with my singles, I bought a lifetime supply of Charmin brand toilet paper for my mama, God bless her soul. Count your blessings brother. Oh man, this takes me back!
Drake:*Closes his eyes and gets lost in his memories*
Notes
5336
Posted
1 day ago

quietdistaste:

me trying to make a successful text post

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(via annoyingvagina)

Notes
22463
Posted
1 day ago
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